and im living it.

"could have let the dream killers kill my self esteem, or use the arrogance as the steam that powers my dreams..."

Ye west.

RealEST estate .

Classic movie, but its to generic , or maybe cliche to put a Scarface picture up. However, i heart the part about "the world is yours" . Im no gangster by any means, duh =) ....but the message is universal. Gangster or not you have to live in this world, why not take ownership ....and the deed....and put up a globe to remind you everyday.

Pillow Fallacy

Fallacy
pl. fal·la·cies

1.A false notion.
2.A statement or an argument based on a false or invalid inference.
3.Incorrectness of reasoning or belief; erroneousness.
4.The quality of being deceptive

I have a reoccurring dream, about the bed I slept in as a child. I begged my mother for a daybed. I wanted a white one, with gold finishes and peach trimmings. Yes, I was this concise on my request, even as a 7 year old. Ironically, at 23 I can barely give anyone a concise answer about anything I want.
I eventually got my bed , exactly how i wanted it. Unfortunately, my comfort did not match my likeness for my princess bed. It was not enough room, and i could never come up with a permanent position to sleep in. I would wake up in the middle of the night and switch ends of the bed. I would be groggy and uncomfortable. My theory was if I switch ends and pillows , I would find myself dozing back off. Reality is,.. no matter where I laid or which pillow I used , my discomfort was constant.
This is the scene in the dream I have now, I awaken and see the end of the bed and the fresh pillow. I unconsciously feel if i change positions , it will feel different from my current situation....and my goal in the dream is to just get to the other pillow. In my dream I do reach the other side, and without fail , I cease to find comfort.
At 23 I do the same thing unconsciously with everything. I always feel like the grass is greener on the other side. I'm constantly changing aspects of my life , much like I change positions in my dream. Formal logic says that if there is a problem, to break it apart and realize what the real problem is and come up with many solutions. My worse habit is to run away from everything that gets boring, or too hard. The unfortunate part is, I never find the comfort I need. After all the changing and rearranging in my real world, I can not find my comfortable spot. I find myself solving the wrong problem, much like my day bed dilemma. The problem was not my position in the bed, it was the bed itself. The problem is not all the things and people in my life , its me. It is my attempt to make quick and simple solutions to complex problems. This is what i call the day bed fallacy. Knowing is half the battle right .

Working on it
b ;)

I dont care .....I said it

Yea KANYE WEST is in my top 5 favorite!!! I said it GAY / STRAIGHT the homey is

dope

. Yea, im tired of the of the t pain shiddd... but this joint is crazy. and what does "living like you died before" mean to yall? huh elle? nightfall? I know you all have an answers for me ;)

Flight School (Feat. Kanye West) - T-Pain



"Realize i got the same wings angels fly with, with louis vuitton feathers ...now thats some fly shit" get em Ye

"What up b? Can't shut up me"

Honey I'm home !

Excuse my absence, computer technicalities. If i was a faithful blogger like some of my counter parts i would have continued....but not blogging on my own laptop is like borrowing a swim suit to me (a NO NO). Anywho, my last meaningful blog was about "the secret". Supposedly, the secret to life is to want , believe and receive erthang u want in your life. Like lets say for instance you want money, love, career , you think, believe it then it comes to you via the universe. And guess who practices this secret fru fru-ness??? OPRAH , WILL SMITH the list goes on. As far as my trial and error period....all that positivity mumbo jumbo is cool for others , not b tho. It takes a constant effort for me to oooze positivity, and i must put emphasis on "constant" and "effort". Im not the negative frigid chick no one wants to be around , im just a realest. I cant even listen to r&b, or slow jams too long. I did however learn that happiness is a choice. I choose to be happy, content and call things and people as i see them. I do believe if i want something i should go get it versus the secret theory "it will come to me via the universe" . If its out there i can get it , if someone else can do it , i can too. Sooo i guess thats my secret. Now, my confidence isn't thru the roof by any means. I doubt myself, I go back and forth on ideas..I ask for second opinions ...i take criticism to heart (for like 5 or 10 min MAX) but all in all No universe gives me anything . God made me and my brain.....so my theory is... he wouldn't have made me equipped to dream if i couldn't live them out. Not so scientific but to each its own and this is the absolute truth according to b
bye bye guys ;)

Oh and i posted a smiley pic to show my positivity oozing lol,,,,,na its just pertty and its my blog

About nothing!!

I have not blogged in 4-ever (sandlot), despite the fact i have made several mental notes about my upcoming blog. So, tonight is the last night I have to work on my "critical analysis paper" due in the AM. Mind you I have no idea what im suppose to be critically analyzing. What if I get lucky??? What if I can critically analyze anything I want and use my own sources?? I would write about something i give a shit about , like....hip hop, fashion, the evolution of it. Hell anything, except this long dry list of "nothing" !! I love to express myself thru words but im blank when it comes to shiii i dont care about. Im like that with everything i guess , so if your speaking to me and I have a blank stare , turn around and go parallel from where u came from. Oh, and I have this paper to write and i just got 'season 6 of sex in the city part 2" sooo my plan is too watch then write. Oh and talk to my sis so we can plan this mini vacay 4 my b day this weekend. Im such a procrastinator and i was going to make a new years promise but its the end of Jan and I still havent made my list. Oh and im always the one yelling " im focused" and I am just on the things I care about the rest is excess. People in my life also fail to realize i can write my own wrongs, i can give you a whole list of imperfections but..thats where it stops. Dont do what you see and hear me do, i cant accept criticism that kindly so ease into if you must!! Although, there is this guy a very special guy to me who told me I was conceited (whoooaaa) I was so surprised with his boldness i think i like him more, he is the one exception (that 1 time)......'ADD' much?

Double up

Today was good and normal. Pic above is of me and my "sis" getting ready to eat . The night ended awkward as hell due to reckless behavior from outsiders. Anywho that my ace boon koon and it ridiculous how much alike we are. Doing positive blogs randomly bc its my way of showing gratitude no matter how small. I learned this in the book "the secret" . wish me luck. blog coming soon on the "secret to life". im running my trial and error period right now. Verdict later