Sunday, March 15, 2009

Pillow Fallacy


Fallacy
pl. fal·la·cies

1.A false notion.
2.A statement or an argument based on a false or invalid inference.
3.Incorrectness of reasoning or belief; erroneousness.
4.The quality of being deceptive

I have a reoccurring dream, about the bed I slept in as a child. I begged my mother for a daybed. I wanted a white one, with gold finishes and peach trimmings. Yes, I was this concise on my request, even as a 7 year old. Ironically, at 23 I can barely give anyone a concise answer about anything I want.
I eventually got my bed , exactly how i wanted it. Unfortunately, my comfort did not match my likeness for my princess bed. It was not enough room, and i could never come up with a permanent position to sleep in. I would wake up in the middle of the night and switch ends of the bed. I would be groggy and uncomfortable. My theory was if I switch ends and pillows , I would find myself dozing back off. Reality is,.. no matter where I laid or which pillow I used , my discomfort was constant.
This is the scene in the dream I have now, I awaken and see the end of the bed and the fresh pillow. I unconsciously feel if i change positions , it will feel different from my current situation....and my goal in the dream is to just get to the other pillow. In my dream I do reach the other side, and without fail , I cease to find comfort.
At 23 I do the same thing unconsciously with everything. I always feel like the grass is greener on the other side. I'm constantly changing aspects of my life , much like I change positions in my dream. Formal logic says that if there is a problem, to break it apart and realize what the real problem is and come up with many solutions. My worse habit is to run away from everything that gets boring, or too hard. The unfortunate part is, I never find the comfort I need. After all the changing and rearranging in my real world, I can not find my comfortable spot. I find myself solving the wrong problem, much like my day bed dilemma. The problem was not my position in the bed, it was the bed itself. The problem is not all the things and people in my life , its me. It is my attempt to make quick and simple solutions to complex problems. This is what i call the day bed fallacy. Knowing is half the battle right .

Working on it
b ;)

4 comments:

Elle said...

The mind..an amazing thing. How you compared your dream to your actual inability to find comfort was impeccable. Imperfection is human. Don't bite off more than you can chew...and love the you you know you can be.

sigh

Taylorgotbeats said...

wow thats a crazy dream I love/hate reoccuring dreams

Angela said...

Ingenious! Yo B you are truly a poet

searching...727 said...

Damn girl....got me to thinking..this post was beautiful.